JourneyLeaf: Life a Page at a Time

Hooray! We're Proud Non-Homeowners!

Stupendous news!  We sold our house in Georgia!  The market news is definitely glum, but we were able to get ours off our hands.  Of course we didn't benefit from the sale the way we would have in previous years, but we'd had no luck renting it out and are thrilled to have the monthly financial responsibilities of it gone.  Just in time for buying diapers!

Jelly Tot's First Halloween

I couldn't resist...

Addendum:

Some answers to your e-mailed questions...

1.  Non-toxic kids' makeup applied with a paintbrush while looking in a mirror.  The bottom portions were particularly challenging as I had to work left-handed from below.

2.  Yup.  It all washed off.  That would have been funny during my next doctor's appointment if it hadn't.

3.  To take the pictures, I had to test the heights of various countertops and ledges throughout the house.  I put the camera on a non-skid kitchen hot pad and pushed the button with the handle of a wooden spoon so I'd be far enough away for a good shot.  Thank goodness for digital.  I clicked away until I got something that worked.

4.  Because I didn't want Brian to miss Jelly Tot's "First Halloween" and he's off at a conference.  (We love you, Brian!)

Halloween: Caramel Corn

In September, I crave apples, apples, apples.  In October, I start searching for candy corn and caramel corn.  The first is easy because you can buy it anywhere.  (Goelitz brand from Jelly Belly is the best!)  The latter, a confection like Cracker Jacks only more buttery and yummy, is more difficult because it has to be made.  My mom had a huge enamelware canning pot that was black with gray specks.  Around Halloween, it often came out to help with mixing caramel corn.  The old pot has since bit the dust, but now I use my grandpa's old dishpan.

The original family recipe came from mom's mom, but I have to admit that the recipe is fairly sketchy.  Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't.

I monkeyed with the recipe after comparing it with a bunch of similar ones.  I think I've come up with a more reliable recipe.  (If anybody decides to make it, please send feedback!)  It is fun to make for family but also during a party.  It makes the house smell like autumn butterscotch.

Autumn Caramel Corn

Preparations:  Preheat oven to 250 degrees.  Butter the bottom and sides of a large pot (like a canning pot or big metal dishpan) and a large roasting pan.  Make six quarts of unsalted, unbuttered popcorn.  (Three large microwave bags of natural-style popcorn will work.)   Shake out and discard unpopped kernels.  Place the popped popcorn in the large pot and, if it fits, place inside the oven to keep it warm.  (Note:  the roasting pan is to heat the finished caramel corn to improve its texture.  But it also tastes great right out of the pot, so you can simplify the recipe by skipping the roasting pan and oven portion.)

1 cup (2 sticks) real butter (plus extra for buttering utensils and pans)

1/2 cup light corn syrup



2 cups light brown sugar from real cane sugar
 (or use dark brown for a deeper flavor)

1 teaspoon salt


1/2 teaspoon baking soda

1 teaspoon each real vanilla

½ teaspoon white vinegar

Optional:  1 cup toasted nuts

In a thick-bottomed 2-3 quart saucepan over medium-high heat, melt the butter.  Stir in syrup, sugar, and salt.  Stirring constantly so it doesn't scorch, bring the mixture to a boil.  Boil without stirring until it reaches 250 degrees (about four minutes).  Remove from heat, stir in soda, vanilla, and vinegar.  (Beware of foaming!)  Drizzle over the popped corn (and nuts) in the large pot and mix well with buttered spoon.  The caramel corn can certainly be eaten now, but for a nicer texture, dump the coated corn into the roasting pan and bake for 20 minutes (longer for chewier popcorn), stirring every 10 minutes.  Let it cool slightly before tasting.  The nice thing is that cleanup is easy.  As long as you haven't burned the sugar mixture, hot water will melt everything away.

Making Caramel Corn in 2002

Halloween: Fairy Dresses

Halloween is creeping up.  In various years past, this means putting the finishing touches on a costume.  And I always start with the same method -- going to Goodwill and digging through the old bridesmaid dresses.  Because if you're going to make the effort and time to dress up all night, I say you might as well wear something that feels good to the soul.  Sifting through piles of dresses, I'm looking for something that fits right and makes me want to swirl around.  When I find it, I step back and look at the color, the style, the attitude of the dress so it can tell me what type of fairy I'll be this year.  The next steps are finding the right additions -- usually a tiara and wand.  But the dress will surely need embellishments too.

This two-tone dress spoke of midnight skies, so I was the Star Fairy in 1998.  Just had to add a little silver paint marker across the bodice and skirt, a star wand, and a halo of star tinsel.

The dress I found in 2001 was a bronze color and had a floaty outer skirt that fluttered like autumn leaves.  The Autumn Fairy, of course.  I sewed on a few fabric leaves plus there was a string of leaf garland that trailed down the back.

A short deep blue velvet number helped me make an easy transition to Winter Fairy in 2003.  I added a cape of sheet white fabric covered in snowflakes plus a tiara of Christmas snowflake garland. 

Jelly Beans for Jelly Tot

It has made for a nice balance -- working great guns on the book and then taking breaks to putter around in Jelly Tot's room.  Yesterday I began packing my suitcase just to be prepared in case this little guy comes early.  I pop in to refold and rearrange things too.  Yesterday night, after I just couldn't write anymore, I went downstairs and began bundling jelly beans.

We live just south of the Jelly Belly factory and it is one of the goofy joys of our new California life to stop by their gift shop on the way home from Travis Air Force Base.  We got tiny bags of blue jelly beans with "It's a boy!" written on them -- much, much better than cigars!  We couldn't afford to do the same for all Brian's students, so we got bulk jelly beans in two nice shades of blue for me to tuck into tulle circles tied with pale blue ribbon.  I would have waited until Brian gets home to help (holding the bag and tying the ribbon took a little fancy fingerwork), but it seems as though the rains are coming soon.  Humidity + jellybeans = sticky!

I wiped down and dried the kitchen table, then set about making sixty even piles of beans.  The colors were so quirky -- autumn tablecloth with cloudlike mounds of blue -- that I had to grab my camera.  

Building a Network

It was a busy weekend.  We took an all-day childbirth class on Saturday.  On Sunday morning I drove Brian to the airport as he has a week-long conference back east.

In the childbirth class, one of the last topics the instructor covered was postpartum depression.  She said some cultures don't experience this at all and that it is thankfully somewhat rare here in America, dependent mostly on how good a support system people have in place where they are.  I turned to Brian and said, "I'm so screwed."

It really is an odd and awkward position -- being out here in California so far from my pre-marriage family and the lovely network of friends I've formed as the years go by.  There's something so important about the people who have known you forever and already seen you through 1,001 transitions large and small.  I think part of the upsurge of grief for my parents that I'm working my way through is also missing the people I always thought would be right beside me through an experience like having a baby.

One of the things I've learned about myself is that I'm not a huge worrier when it comes to problems that need to be solved.  But with grief, I'm a "front loader."  I grieve in advance for a hard situation and that tendency has both good and bad aspects.  The bad thing is that I grieve for things before I need to.  On the more important positive side, when the hard situation or loss actually arrives, I've usually found my peace and solutions.  

So I've cried about being out here.  Despite the fact that I know this is the right place for us right now, I've gotten mad about it.  But there comes a point where you just have to be proactive.  So be prepared for phone calls from me in the next weeks and months, dear ones!  You are my lifelines.  I'm also planning to see if I can start a play group for parents who are writers and artists after Jelly Tot arrives.  There are some general play groups in the area and we'll try those too.  This is a great place and I think I've met a few kindred spirits who will most likely become new friends over time, but I've been so busy with the book that most of my time is spent at home in front of the computer since moving here.  That situation will change before long. Thankfully, Brian has support here -- his brother and family live about an hour to the south.  And Brian's parents have come to stay out here in their RV for a few months. They are good folks and I'm getting to know them better all the time, so they are my support too.  I'm really very lucky.

Thankfully, Brian and I have met a couple of people we already consider friends.  We rent our house from a very nice couple just slightly older than us who live in San Francisco.  Nathan works in the health care industry (administrative work) and Karen is an architect.  They have a baby girl due three weeks after Jelly Tot is due, so that has been a lot of fun.  Yesterday I went out to brunch with them on the way back from the airport and Karen took me to a local plant nursery so I'll know where to go for winter pansies and spring flowers.

This is a sort of difficult picture to decipher, but I'm standing side-by-side with Karen.  I'm on the left in a red shirt (and white sneakers) and Karen is on the right in a purple shirt (and brown sandals).  We held a camera above and between our pregnant tummies to snap the picture.

Circle of Life

Oh, the fun of insomnia!  My doctor assures me it is normal during the third trimester, but it is hard to write a book when your brain is on brownout.  I feel like I lose ten points off my IQ for every hour of sleep I miss.  But it was better last night -- to bed early and almost seven hours in a row.

Last night we went on a tour of the hospital where Jelly Tot will be born.  Of course we went into this whole adventure knowing what the end result will be, but touring the labor and delivery rooms makes Jelly Tot's arrival seem very vivid and real.  We saw a couple of newborns in the nursery last night -- so tiny and gorgeous but at the same time so big when I think of that being inside me!  We had a doctor's appointment yesterday morning and Jelly Tot is estimated at around 4.5 to 5 pounds at present.  Happily, he's growing just as his should and seems to be turned head-down, which is perfect for this stage of the game.  The night before the appointment he woke me up in the middle of the night making some regular, repeated motion that I couldn't figure out at first.  Then I realized he had the hiccups and I was so charmed that I just curled up in a ball around him, grinning to myself in the dark.

Brian and I took separate cars yesterday as I had to meet up with him at work.  It was a long drive home in the dark after the tour.  I went through a period before our wedding last year when I suddenly missed my parents intensely despite the fact that they died fifteen years ago.  Last night that flooded back.  My parents would be so proud and happy over this coming child.  I always had a good relationship with them, but was also lucky that they lived until I was a young adult, enabling us to grow into friends who enjoyed each others' company.  So I miss not just having parents but the people that they were.  I don't know why it helps to say it, but it does.  I miss them terribly.

Herbal Tea

If I let them, boxes of herbal tea take over my pantry.  Sometimes I have to keep myself from going down the Celestial Seasonings and Bigelow aisle at the grocery store because I know I have enough boxes already.  In fact, I don't buy a new box until I've used up an old one.  It's either that or an avalanche of little cardboard boxes.

When I was little, my mom didn't like having sugared cereal in the house and we ate only the likes of Cheerios and Shredded Wheat.  At Christmas, however, my brother and I were allowed to pick out any box of sugared cereal we'd like and didn't even have to share until it was gone.  (It was a sort of agony if the holidays rolled around and Fruity Pebbles didn't have a great prize but some mediocre sugared cereal did.)  Picking out a new box of tea feels a little like the excitement of buying sugared cereal just because I know with the variety I already have in my pantry it is going to be a while before I get to stand in the tea aisle and pick again.  A goofy sort of joy.

I drink a lot more herb tea in the cold months, but have at least a cup a day even in summer.  My favorite is peppermint, but I'm also a fan of chamomile and peach.  In autumn I lean towards apple with cinnamon and in spring I want something with berries.  Despite the fact that I like fruit teas, I'm not crazy about those "zinger" teas that are sour, which is a little baffling because I like a lot of sour foods.  Actually, according to my buddy Dominic, what I really drink is dishwater.  Okay, so I like it really weak!  Bounce the teabag three times in the mug of hot water and I'm ready to sip.  I'm also a purist -- no sugar, milk, honey, or lemon.  But at least it is a healthy thing.  Most herb teas have no calories but do contain some antioxidants and keep you hydrated.  And there is something so peaceful about wrapping your hands around a warm mug of something good for you.

This past week I got down to the bottom of my last box of Celestial Seasonings Candy Cane Lane (actually a decaffeinated green tea).  It only pops up at Christmas, so my friend Heidi sent me a stash of about six boxes a while back.  I'll be trolling for extra boxes again this year.  As I unfold the old box to drop it in the recycling bin, I stop to read it and enjoy the great artwork this company always adds.  There's a good quotation on the side of the box too:  "There are souls in this world which have the gift of finding joy everywhere and of leaving it behind them when they go."  -- Frederick William Faber.

Child Readiness Test

Here's another bit of humor that was floating around the Web a few years back...

HOW TO KNOW WHETHER OR NOT YOU ARE READY TO HAVE CHILDREN:

MESS TEST

Smear peanut butter on the sofa and curtains.  Place a fish stick behind the couch and leave it there all summer.  Can you still live in the house?

 

TOY TEST

Obtain a 55 gallon box of Legos (or you may substitute roofing tacks).  Have a friend spread them all over the house.  Put on a blindfold.  Try to walk to the bathroom or kitchen.  No screaming allowed, as this would wake a child at night.

 

GROCERY STORE TEST

Borrow one or two small animals (goats are best) and take them with you as you shop.  Always keep them in sight and pay for anything they eat or damage.

 

DRESSING TEST

Obtain one large, unhappy, live octopus.  Stuff into a small net bag making sure that all the arms stay inside.

 

FEEDING TEST

Obtain a large plastic milk jug.  Fill halfway with water.  Suspend from the ceiling with a cord.  Start the jug swinging.  Try to insert spoonfuls of soggy cereal into the mouth of the jug, while pretending to be an airplane.  Now dump the contents of the jug on the floor and clean it up again before anyone else has the chance to walk into the room and track wet cereal everywhere.

 

NIGHT TEST

Prepare by obtaining a small cloth bag and fill it with 8-12 pounds of sand.  Soak it thoroughly in water.  At 3:00 p.m. begin to waltz and hum with the bag until 9:00 p.m.  Lay down your bag and set your alarm for 10:00 p.m.  Get up, pick up your bag, and sing every song you have ever heard.  Make up about a dozen more songs and sing these too until 4:00 a.m.  Set alarm for 5:00 a.m.  Get up and make breakfast.  Look cheerful.

 

INGENUITY TEST

Take an egg carton.  Using a pair of scissors and pot of paint, turn it into an alligator. Now take a toilet paper tube and turn it into an attractive Christmas candle.  Use only scotch tape and a piece of foil.  Last, take a milk carton, a ping-pong ball, and an empty box of Cocoa Puffs.  Make an exact replica of the Eiffel Tower.

 

AUTOMOBILE TEST

Buy a station wagon.  Buy a chocolate ice cream cone and put it in the glove compartment.  Leave it there.  Get a dime.  Stick it into the CD player.  Take a family size package of chocolate chip cookies.  Mash them into the back seat.  Run a garden rake along both sides of the car.  Smile and give a friendly wave to your single neighbor who owns a pristine BMW.

 

PHYSICAL TEST (Women)

Obtain a large beanbag chair and attach it to the front of your clothes.  Leave it there for 9 months.  Now remove 10 of the beans.  Determine that it is still possible for you to feel frisky.

 

PHYSICAL TEST (Men)

Go to the nearest drug store.  Set your wallet on the counter.  Tell the clerk to help himself.  Now proceed to the nearest food store.  Go to the head office and arrange for your paycheck to be directly deposited to the store.  Purchase a newspaper.  Go home and read it quietly for the last time.

 

FINAL ASSIGNMENT

Find a couple who already have a small child.  Lecture them on how they can improve their discipline, patience, tolerance, toilet training and child's table manners.  Emphasize to them that they should never allow their children to run wild.  Enjoy this time since you will never have all the answers again.

Studios

With the book project at its crunch point, I don't have much time to read for fun.  Brian and I go to book stores quite a bit, though -- a shared passion.  In order not to be tempted to buy books I can't read right now (or find some darn book I'll suddenly feel I should cram in as background research for my project!), I tend to hang out in the magazine section these days.

This past weekend I found a magazine I just had to take home.  Cloth, Paper, Scissors is a magazine dedicated to collage and mixed media art.  As someone who loves journals, blogs, and photography, I get a kick out of seeing the things others with similar interests create.  At present this magazine has a special issue out entitled Studios (Fall/Winter 2008).  The inside pages are full of pictures of artists' studios along with their descriptions of their artwork and spaces.  Definitely inspiring!  Even the advertisements are wonderful -- art supplies, organizers, supply houses and the like.  Cloth, Paper, Scissors

I've had a studio space for many years now.  It was something I always feared I'd have to give up after marriage or motherhood, so it is a joy to currently have a larger room than I've ever had before.  Looking through the magazine, I find other people who have beloved workspaces too.  Even if only on paper, it is a joy to find kindred spirits.  And I find that, like them, my space isn't just full of favorite books and needed art supplies.  I arrange (and sometimes rearrange) bits and pieces that inspire me for whatever reason.  These items are mostly family items or antique store finds.  I love old kitchen utensils from the 1940s and earlier.  But also Mason jars, tin buckets, and small baskets collecting tiny, worn objects such as buttons, marbles, and the like.

Hanging Buckets from IKEA full of colored pencils.

Antique Biscuit and Cookie Cutters

The Antique Mixing Bowl (a twin of Laura Ingalls Wilder's from her cookbook), a Jar of Marbles, and a Milk Bottle of Old-Fashioned Clothes Pins

An Antique Wooden Bowl Filled with Nature Objects