JourneyLeaf: Life a Page at a Time

And the Work Goes On...

When I was still pregnant, a successful lawyer who is a mother of four warned me never to work from home without childcare.  "You'll be tempted to work when the baby takes a nap and then you'll resent it when you have to stop."  It made perfect sense, so I took the words to heart.  It was a worrisome thought.  I knew I would need to make changes to my manuscript sometime after Eli was born.  I also knew I would want to take care of him at home myself for at least the first year.  For months I worried there was a storm brewing.

I'm not naive enough to think things will always be this easy, but right now I find the two worlds -- creativity and motherhood -- are working well in balance.  I've fallen into a pattern of writing whenever Eli falls asleep at home, yet I don't mind when he wakes.  I think all my years of keeping a journal helps a great deal.  I'm used to writing in odd moments and without a desk in sight, mulling over sentences and themes while walking, showering, and cooking supper.  I can ponder rewriting paragraphs over diapers and baby food jars too.  I move back and forth between being in the moment and living a creative life in my head.  I like both.  I need both.

One of the keys may be the project that I'm working on.  A book on how to preserve family recipes in many ways anchors me more strongly to home rather than pulling me away from it.  I am reminded of the loved ones who came before me and all I want to share with Eli.

The press hasn't given me a deadline for the next draft and I'm always haunted by the feeling that I'm working too slow.  The bulk of the work still has to be done once Eli is in bed for the night, which is a struggle because I'm often quite tired by that point.  But it is a deep blessing to discover I can multitask.  I don't take it for granted.

The Adventures of Eli...Helping with the Laundry

  

Sand, sand, sand.

Eli and Claire gave up their life of crime on the high seas, but they are still basking in tropical sands.  (Is it "basking" if there's barely any room because of all the sand toys?  Woo hoo for Target's Dollar Spot and summer clearance sales!)

(Eli says, "Yup.  I think that's a dinosaur.")

Eli says, "Sand feels funny."

"It tastes funny too."

Claire says, "The sandbox tastes good, though."

Favorite Baby Things 4-6 months

By the time your baby is past three months old, you know your fantasy of a playroom full of educational wooden European toys is gone, gone, gone.  Everything in your living room is suddenly brightly colored plastic and plays high-pitched electronic tunes.  Ah, well.  Here are some things we got a lot of use out of and would recommend...

Fisher-Price Ocean Wonders Kick & Crawl Gym.  During that phase when babies spend so much time on their backs, gyms that dangle toys are great.  But the Ocean Wonders is especially nice because it converts into a toddler crawl tube.  Most "gyms" are forgotten by six months, but Eli still loves this version.

Fisher Price Precious Planet Jumperoo.   Oh, how I love watching Eli's pure joy over this toy!  He jumps so hard that the whole thing rattles and you'd swear he's about to go into orbit.  I also love the fact that the Jumperoo buys me precious time.  Eli is safe and happy while Mama gets to wash her hair with nobody squalling outside the shower door.  Word of warning:  Before you put your kid in this thing, make sure there's no poopy diaper.  You don't want to know what happens if there's a poopy diaper between your bouncing kid and the Jumperoo seat.   

Miracle Blanket.  When Eli was newborn, we swaddled him at night in a Halo Sleep Sack.  We weren't sure what we were going to do when he outgrew it, but then we found the Miracle Blanket.  Basically, the Miracle Blanket is a long, triangular blanket with arm flaps inside to keep a baby happily swaddled.  Eli loved his and slept well in it.  I frequently give the Miracle Blanket as a baby shower gift now because giving babies a great night's sleep is one of the greatest gifts you can give a new parent.  (I know, I know!  It looks like a horrid straight-jacket to you and me.  But most babies love to sleep snug as it reminds them of the womb.)

Inflated Bottom Baby Pool.  Eli still was pretty wobbly sitting up when we went to the beach on vacation.  But we got him a blow up wading pool to play in and he got lots of practice sitting up because I was no longer afraid he'd hurt himself by going over backwards.  If he fell over, he landed on soft, blow-up plastic.  Within days, he was sitting up like a champ.   (Note:  If your baby gets diaper rash, put the dry pool inside the house, place towels in the bottom, and put your baby naked in it so their little bum can air out.  Works like a charm and cleanups after accidents are easy.)

Soft Mirror.  We found a book for Eli called Look at Me!  (Danbury, CT:  Baby's First Book Club, 2002) that has a soft, unbreakable mirror as the last page.  For months now, Eli has loved watching that fascinating baby.

 

The Adventures of Pirate Babies

"Okay, here's the plan.  We make them think we're surrendering.  Then we sail 'round the horn, give 'em the cannons, and make off with all the instant formula!"

 

"You up in the crow's nest!  Run a white cloth diaper up the flag pole!"

 

Trusty First Mate Claire says, "Good plan!  High five, Captain Eli!"

 

First Mate Claire adds, "The thought of that formula is making me so hungry!"

 

"Put that rat back in the hold and get back to work or you'll walk the plank!"

"Aye, aye, Captain Eli!"

 

"The scurvy dogs are running from the cannons!  Victory!"

 

"The crew demanded to celebrate by mixing the formula with grog.  What was in that grog stuff anyway?"

 

(To answer your questions....  I gathered the pirate "booty" -- a.k.a props -- when I was at Atlantic Beach in North Carolina for vacation.  I came home with a rubber lobster, a rubber rat, a Jolly Roger flag, a molded felt pirate hat, and a felt eye patch in my luggage.  The eye patch was definitely a no-go with Eli and was quickly ditched.  As for the costume, I found some worn black pants and a man's striped tie at a thrift store.  All I had to do was cut the legs of the pants so they looked ragged.  The hat Claire wore for most of the photos is foam and came from the Dollar Spot at Target a few months back.  The photo shoot took place at Lake Anza just over the hill from Berkeley.  My friend Tracy, Claire's mom, served as "baby wrangler," shaking rattles to get the kids' attention and keeping them from stuffing too much sand in their mouths.)

Cozy

I once read a quote that nobody wakes up happy after the age of thirty.  I was twenty-nine at the time and thought, "Uh oh."

Last night I slept blissfully well.  We had the window open and a soft breeze was flowing from the Pacific Ocean, over the hill, down the valley, and into the house.  The wind stiffened a couple of times and I surfaced in my awareness, hovering on the edge of sleep for a moment before sinking back down.  I remember thinking how lovely the air felt in contrast to the warm blanket and Brian beside me.  Somewhat confused, I thought the extra pillow with the fleece cover on it was Eli.  I had my arms wrapped about that pillow and patted it a few times before I realized it wasn’t my baby, laughed, and fell back asleep.

Even half-asleep, I was happy.  Life is beautiful.

Below:  Eli Falls Asleep in the Car, Bottle Still in Hand

Thursdays

I think that Thursday is almost my favorite day of the week now.  It doesn't top the weekend when I get to be with Brian and Eli all day, but it is darned good for a weekday.

The hospital where Eli was born has a support group for new parents that meets on Thursday mornings.  We gather in a large room, sitting in camp chairs on the floor in a big circle with our babies in front of us.  There's an early morning group for crawlers and toddlers plus a new baby group later in the morning.  Sometimes there are as few as five parents.  Usually we're happily bursting at the seams.  Most Thursdays it gets pretty noisy with adults talking and babies cooing or squealing or crying.  But that's part of the appeal too -- being in a place where if your baby is loud, everybody will understand.  

I think one of my favorite aspects is that it is so good for both Eli and I at the same time.  While I'm listening and chatting, I'm also playing with him.  He gets lots of good attention and cuddling on Thursday mornings during group.  But then he also gets to see other people and play with other babies.  I learn a lot and have adult conversation.  Hooray!  Win/win!

The group is run by Jennifer, who also conducts many of the parenting classes for the hospital.  What a gift she has been!  When we were moving from Georgia during my second trimester of pregnancy, I couldn't quite fathom who I would turn to thousands of miles from most family and friends.  I also wished terribly that my mother, dead sixteen years, could be here to answer questions.  (Besides being my mom and a woman who raised two kids, she was a registered nurse.)  I think, though, that if you keep an open heart and go seeking, you'll find the help you need.  Jennifer is evidence that this is true and she has been a balm to the worries of being a new mom.  Never overbearing and quick to find the humor in a situation, she answers our questions while leaving lots of room for us to be true to our intuition.

Eli and Jennifer (We interrupted her cleaning toys....that's why she's got one glove on.  It isn't a Michael Jackson thing.) 

After group, many of the parents head next door to Whole Foods grocery and cafe for lunch.  We talk about things we learned in group but 1,001 other things too.  The parents whose babies are sleeping help the ones who are trying to wrangle babies and sandwiches at the same time.  

Diana with Eli (Diana's cutie patootie son, Luca, was asleep in the stroller next to her.  I got to watch Eli play in her lap and enjoy sushi at the same time.  So nice!)

After seeing some of the parents almost every week and watching their little ones grow, I'm becoming so fond of these folks.  They, too, make being a new mom much easier.  We swap ideas and know-how but they are also a wonderful sounding-board for venting frustrations and sharing the deep joys.

Maynard with daughter Mila.  (One sock off and one sock on, Mila?)

Rewriting

Rewriting parts of the book is like a pushing a huge ball.  It was hard going at first.  It's painful to cut out quotes from nice people who gave me interviews, but it is also hard to pull out a paragraph that represented hours and hours worth of reading and research.  There are a few sections I removed that meant a whole research trip to an archives or to visit someone while they cooked is now useless.  But I know deep down all that reading and researching and interviewing makes up the background knowledge I needed to write the text.  And once the book is closer to publication, I'll create a professional blog where I can use some of the removed material as entries.  So now the ball is rolling along and I'm actually enjoying the process.  Now I don't have to force myself to the computer to work on it.  I'm actually craving doing it.  When Eli goes down for a nap or after he's in bed at night, I'm on the job.

The Adventures of Eli

Gratuitous photo for the grandparents (real and adopted)

Favorite Baby Things 0-3 months

Even if you don't have kids, here's your chance to score happy parent points at your next baby shower.  Actually, there's no perfect baby gift because what is fabulous for one set of parents may be useless to another.  But here are some of the items we really loved for Eli when he was newborn.

Moses Basket

Here's a snug place for baby to sleep and you can easily move him from place to place in the house while he snoozes.  You can even set the whole basket in the crib.

Flannel "Receiving Blankets"

There seems to be some sort of law that parents have to use those white cloth diapers for over-the-shoulder burping.  But we found those were too tiny.  Also, they absorb well when liquid comes slowly, but poorly when the liquid splashes -- like milk after a big burp.  Flannel receiving blankets work much better for us.  They are large enough to protect not just your shoulder, but your sleeve and the rest of your shirt.  They absorb quickly.  They even come in fun designs and pretty colors.  We have a big stack and are still grabbing them up for drool.  (Here's Eli with my good friend Heidi, protected with a Pooh flannel blanket.)

Rain Sticks

Newborns like shushing sounds or white noise.  Rain stick toys -- tubes filled with small beads that have maze-like holes for the beads to sift through -- make a similar sound so they are great to distract a baby from crying or to get a baby's attention for a photo.  Eli used to happily stare at his as long as we would tip it back and forth.  They are still one of his favorite toys, particularly the one I found that has spinners inside.

Oball Rattle

I found this in a toy store and Eli stared from the moment I picked it up until I had it paid for.  Once I gave it to him, he kept it in a death grip for hours.  It is easy for even a small baby to hold, makes a nice rattling sound, and rolls along the floor for their amusement.  It is also easy to tether to the stroller so it won't get lost.

Things I got later, but wish I'd had from the beginning...

Trumpette Baby Socks

I couldn't imagine paying $24 for a pack of six pairs of baby socks.  But when I counted up how much money I wasted on socks that didn't fit or were easy for Eli to grab off, I should have just started with these.  They are darn cute and fit better than any other brand.  Eli has the "Johnny's" that look like sneakers.  If you haven't seen the "Mary Janes" version for girls, check out their website.  Cute, cute, cute.

Itzbeen

Some smart parent knew how hard it is to remember simple things when you are sleep deprived.  The Itzbeen is simply a little device with buttons you push when you just changed a diaper, when the baby goes down for a nap, or when the last feeding was given.  No more staring at your baby thinking, "When did I last...?"   There's an alarm function in case you need a reminder plus an extra timing button to use any way you'd like.  (You could use it to keep track of medicine doses, but I found it was perfect for parking meters.)  Finally, there's a small light and a right/left switch so breastfeeding moms can keep track of which side the kid fed on last.  The device has a clip on the back so you can attach it to a diaper bag or stroller.  Sure, a notepad and flashlight would do the same tasks, but somehow this is just easier.

Note:  A baby swing is definitely on our list of favorites, but we had an old secondhand Graco model.  If I'd known how much Eli would love his swing, we would have gone out and bought the Fisher Price Rainforest model that swings two directions plus has music and a moving mobile.  Once Eli learned to reach out and stop his Graco swing, my friend Tracy let us borrow her Rainforest.  So much nicer!  So much quieter!  It plugs in too, so you don't go through 1,001 batteries.

Blogjacking

On Friday I hosted a drop-in play day.  Eli and I welcomed many of our parent and baby friends over to celebrate the house with its finished repairs and new childproofing touches.  The grownups savored adult conversation and snacks while the babies had a shrieking, cooing good time swapping drooled-upon toys.

I rushed around that morning cleaning the house and heading to the grocery store for last minute items.  Finally, though, all was in order and I thought I would jump on the computer to post to the blog.  But I realized the topic I was mulling over was baby related.  And so many of my posts these days are baby related.  Whoa.  Eli has hijacked my blog.

When I started blogging over a year ago now, I sought a way to keep up with distant family and friends.  I also wanted writing practice and a creative outlet.  Once Eli came along, I wanted to share his adventures with family and friends -- yet I never quite pictured the blog becoming so baby-saturated.  It makes me realize my life is baby-saturated.  So I took a deep breath and pondered that too.  But it didn't take long for me to realize I love it this way.  Eli's babyhood is short and achingly sweet sometimes.  I really rather enjoy being baby-saturated for the present.  Does it turn off some readers?  Perhaps.  But maybe it gives some of my friends who don't have children yet or who have chosen not to have children a glimpse into another life.  I always enjoy that with novels or articles or other blogs.  And I've found some new readers in my mom friends too.

Now that I'm back to writing professionally again, I'm sure more topics on writing, creativity, and such will creep into JourneyLeaf.  Until then, I'll just metaphorically let my cutie patootie grab up this blog in his chubby hands and chew on the corners a little longer.

Childproofing

I always thought childproofing was a do-it-yourself endeavor.  But then we heard about Childproofer, a local business started by parents who have Houdini-like twins.  Since we are renters rather than homeowners at present, we especially needed solutions that would cause little damage to the house surfaces.  Our house is also somewhat large and we like to have friends over with their kids; we need our house to be safe not only for Eli and whatever crazy adventures he will think up, but also for a variety of tots with a variety of hair-raising ideas.

I'm really glad we decided to get help.  The installer arrived in a van full of childproofing products at reasonable prices.  It was nice to look at various problems in the house, discuss the possibilities, and then be able to solve the problem on the spot.  Also, he helped us find problems that I wouldn't have thought about.  For instance, I didn't realize dry cleaning bags were such bad news.  Kids love to slip into closets and dry cleaning bags hang down quite low.  The bags are also soft enough for kids to easily pull down and long enough that they can easily entangle little ones.)

We still have a little more work to do -- earthquake straps for all the tall sets of shelves and a gate to block off the television -- but I already feel much better about Eli roaming the house.

Tip:  If you are going to have a service like this come out, try for a morning appointment.  Often the van makes various calls throughout the day without returning to the main office so childproofing supplies may be somewhat depleted by afternoon appointments. 

Visiting Baby Claire Tests the Gate at the Bottom of the Stairs.  "Wheeeee!  Fun to pull up on!" she squeals.  (Photo by Tracy)

Now if we can just find a way to keep Eli from blowing raspberries when his mouth is full of pureed squash....