Illness

It seems like we just got through Eli's first real bout with illness.  Now he's sick again.  In the wee hours of Wednesday morning, he had a fever for the first time and it still threatens to zoom back to 102 whenever he's due for another dose of infant ibuprofen.  I took Eli to the doctor first thing in the morning.  His ears, nose, and chest are fine, although his throat is a little red and his glands swollen.  It may simply be a cold.  Whatever it is, it arrived during some intense teething, so that makes it all worse. 

Eli cried out several times in the night.  It really is an awful feeling to reach down into the crib and find your baby sweaty and feverish.  Eli even smelled hot.  I would hold him for a long time until he was ready to go back into the crib.  When I'd crawl back into my own bed, it felt like my arms and chest were still radiating damp heat from that small child up against me.  Each time, it was a relief to be able to get Eli back into his crib because I knew he would rest better there.  Yet as tired as I was, part of me wanted to hold him until morning.  There's this crazy middle-of-the-night feeling that if you can just keep your little one in your arms, your love will start putting things to right inside that small body.

The last time Eli woke before dawn, his fever was down but he was wild-eyed.  He has a distinctive cry when he is in physical pain -- a vaccination shot or a pinched finger -- and this was that cry doubled.  He cried and cried and cried, his body stiff and his little fists jerking.  I'd never seen him this distraught for this long.  So scary when it comes in the middle of the night!  Help feels far away when it is dark outside, all the world seems asleep, and your collection of mama tricks comes to naught.  Finally, a warm bath and warm bottle slowed down the cries.  He became quiet, limp, and sleep-heavy against me.  Relief.

Before I became a mother, I assumed worry and sleeplessness were the hardest parts of a sick baby.  That's true.  But the isolation is bad too.  When you are sleep-deprived and must hole up with a cranky toddler, the days can seem very long.  Dreary winter just amplifies it.  Thankfully, Eli's grandparents are staying at nearby Travis Air Force Base in their RV for the winter and came to our rescue.  Eli had a restful nap in Grandma's arms and played happily with Granddad while Mama got a much-needed nap.  And the best part?  They are coming again tomorrow.

   

 

Bedtime baths are cheerful, splashy affairs.  When a sick Eli needs cooling down and soothing in the middle of the night, I bathe him in just the soft glow of a night light.  The warm water, the smell of lavender, and the dim reflections comfort us both.

Comments

[Norma]

Trust and pray this will be a better day for each of you. Love you!

[Valerie]

Thank you, Norma! :o)