Eye-crossing and handwashing... Oh so much preschooler fun!
A Preschooler’s Guide to Public Handwashing
in Eighteen Easy Steps...
1. Stand on tippy tippy tippy toes to turn on faucet.
2. Squirt liquid soap onto dry hands so that it will wash off when you put your hands under the water.
3. Reapply soap.
4. Smell soap and declare that it smells REALLY YUMMY in a voice loud enough to echo throughout bathroom.
5. Wash off soap without cleaning hands.
6. Scowl and do a flouncing body wiggle when reminded of the need to actually rub hands together to remove dirt.
7. Reapply soap and rub and rub and rub and rub until bubbles are everywhere. Spread fingers repeatedly to appreciate the fine quality of the lather.
8. Scowl and do a flouncing body wiggle when reminded to rinse.
9. Rinse hands and then shake your hands to flip drops of water everywhere. There are extra points for getting water droplets on strangers and mirrors.
10. Give a blank look when asked if your hands still feel sticky or slimy. Wiggle your fingers and discover they do indeed feel yucky.
11. Scowl and do a flouncing body wiggle when reminded that rubbing is necessary to rinse off all the soap.
12. Rinse and rinse and rinse and rinse while three impatient strangers stand behind you waiting for the sink. Experiment to see what happens when you try to block the flow from the faucet. (There are extra points for crying when the water jets into your eye.)
13. Scowl and do a flouncing body wiggle when reminded that your turn is over and it is time to turn off the water.
14. Grab the grungy faucet handle with your now-clean hands. Make sure to also touch the brown stain in the bowl of the sink, the trash can, the floor, and the bottom of your shoe before leaving the bathroom. (There are extra points if you can loop back to touch the toilet seat.)
15. Hold your wet hands over your ears and refuse the touch-free (and very noisy) electric hand dryers.
16. Giggle when the paper towels roll out automatically. (The more the bathroom echoes, the louder you should laugh.) Wave your hand in front of the sensor as many times as you can until someone stops you. Follow this with a scowl and flouncing body wiggle.
17. As you throw away your huge (environmentally unsound) wad of paper towels, grab the edges of the trashcan with both hands and stare down into the depths. Loudly announce anything interesting you find in there. (There are extra points if you grab it and bring it to the surface.)
18. Dutifully turn off the lights upon exiting regardless of how many people are still in the bathroom.
Okay. I feel a little mean posting this blog entry, so I feel I have to add that usually Eli is pretty easygoing. The only time we seem to get stuck on multiple steps is on road trips when moving smoothly through bathroom breaks means we'll be back sitting in the car that much sooner. And, actually, there's a part of me that admires how much kids appreciate the little things from flowing water to bubbles to scented soap to funny paper towel dispenser noises!
Update: It's karma. I posted this blog entry while on our road trip and at the very next bathroom stop Eli discovered that by clasping his soap-lathered hands together he could make a delightful pooting noise.
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